I’m supposed to be writing my NaNo Novel (What? You’ve never heard of National Novel Writing Month? Get over there and start writing! 50 thousand words in 30 days www.nanowrimo.org )
So, like I was saying, I’m supposed to be writing my novel. I have two story ideas. Both sound good to me. Neither is inspiring me. I have characters for one of the story ideas, so that leads to me to believe I should run with that one. Problem is, I don’t really know where to start. And, again, I’m not motivated. I love writing. I love when I’m writing and I get really into the story. I love to see how my stories progress. I love making something out of nothing.
I have had writer’s block for 3 years. (imagine a sad face picture here…sad banana, sad kitty, sad turnip, whatever. I’m bummed.) My reviews even come as a bit of a struggle. I do them because I love to read and I love to write and I want to share that enthusiasm with others.
You may have noticed that I didn’t review in October. What’s up with that? It’s my favorite month. Halloween is my absolute favorite holiday. I was taken in and absorbed by awesome scary TV. I had plenty of time to relax and enjoy myself, as I was ‘on the bench’ for 2 weeks and ‘working from home’. (I put that in quotes because there really isn’t anything you can do on the bench except online training….how boring is that?)
Anyway, I had lots of time to myself and beautiful weather to inspire me. I had horror films going all the time and just felt fantastic. I even had my annual Scranton get-together with a group of friends. (Sounds weird, but seriously, we have a blast there every year.)
Yet, here I am, November 3rd already, nothing written. Not a single word has been typed up for my novel.
Granted, my new job did start on the 1st. That has kept me a little bit busy. But I’m not swamped. I’m still learning the new job, so there’s a lot of free time. And there are evenings.
I think part of the problem is that I’m a poster-child for ADD. Video games have probably not helped this. (don’t let anyone else see this…I hate the suggested that TV, computers, or video games may contribute to the lack of attention span, but deep-down, I think it’s probably true at least a little bit.) Anyway, instead of having time to develop ideas in my head…instead of being inspired, I get on my iPhone and play Luxor. It’s mindless, effortless, and repetitive. Ahhhh sweet relief from stress or boredom. One of my worst ADD symptoms is this tendency to get ‘stuck’. I’ve talked to other ADD people and not all of us are like this. But I’ve noticed that more people who have my type (inattentive) are likely to have this ‘stuck’ feature. We have a massive sense of inertia. Once we get out there doing something, it’s great. But getting the forward motion takes massive effort.
So here I sit, not writing. The thing is, in the past I’ve just started writing when I was ready (even if that was halfway through the month) and taken off. My word count catches up because I type really fast, and I’d be fine. But for the past couple of years, that hasn’t happened. Instead of writing a ton the second week in, I’ve quit. I’ve quit without any good reason, except that I couldn’t get motivated. No ideas came, no spark, no inspiration.
I don’t know how to make it happen. In the past it has just ‘come’ to me. Last year’s story started off strong and then petered out into nothing. I feel like either of the ideas I have this year could really take off. I just need to break out of this mind-fog.
So, I promise to put up a review soon. I got stuck reading some older books and I feel bad reviewing them. Nobody is rushing out to buy an old, pulp piece of junk. My most recent book was about the Smurl Haunting in Pennsylvania. There was a made for TV movie about it in the 90′s and everything. But the book was written a long time ago and it wasn’t all that compelling, to be honest. It was interesting and I wanted to know what happened. But that was it.
I finished another John Connolly book. He is phenomenal. I want to write like him…but still being me. I used to feel that way about Stephen King. I still respect him, of course, but I feel like Connolly has more depth. And his style is more subtle…not quite as cliched and not full of ‘busier than a one-legged man in an ass-kicking contest’ stuff.
I also finished a free Kindle download called Sleep Tight. It was a thriller and you know, it was pretty good! I was surprised at how good it was for a free download.
Did I mention before that I read the Hunger Games books? Awesome and much better than I dreamed they would be.
Still, with all that reading, I haven’t hit something that I feel needs to be reviewed.
So now you know what I read in my down time…for fun or amusement or just because I can’t not read. I promise to get something new soon. Something that isn’t spooky or ghostly or mindless. Not that any of that is necessarily bad. I just feel like my readers deserve more.
Meanwhile, I should be writing. Add this to another of my shiny objects and distractions. Now I have to get back to my Luxor.